The Hardest Day Ever - Goodbye Aunt Trish

Apparently there are signs when the end is near.  I've never been so close to someone who is so close to death.  The hospice care team said that usually the person will stop being able to eat and become very frail and weak, have trouble breathing, a very low pulse, and their skin will turn a shade of grey.  These are all signs that death is within a very short time period.  They could barely find a pulse on Trish so my mom called to tell me to come say my goodbyes.  I was at work when I got the message, and I told my boss that I needed to leave to say goodbye to my sweet Aunt Trish.  I was so glad I was able to.  I believe I may have heard the last words that she was able to mouth, before leaving for whatever is beyond...
Trish certainly looked like she was barely alive.  She was so frail and weak and definitely looked like she had a grey tone to her skin.  She couldn't really speak.  She held my hand and kept repeating the words, "love, love, love," in a faint whisper.
I just couldn't believe it was real.  I do not know why this awful thing has had to happen to such a wonderful person who was so full of life.  I do not understand why her 3 adorable little boys will have to be motherless, and why she doesn't get to see them grow up.
Trish left the world on February 25, 2016.  She fought with strength and determination until the very end.  She lived a very full life.  She was an amazing mother, and brilliant person.
She always invited me to do things just out of my comfort zone.  I was in awe of her.  She was the coolest aunt.  I loved her dearly.
I am honored to say that I often was compared to her... my dad accidentally called me Trish all the time.  I do think we looked similar.  I was nowhere near as talented or intelligent as her.  She could do all kinds of tricks on the snowboard, on the wakeboard, and played the piano at a skill level reserved for concert pianists.  She could speak multiple languages and also be a high fashion attorney.  She rode bikes, ran races, and doted on her kids.  She was a superwoman who many admired.
My heart hurts beyond words.  I don't know any answers of where Aunt Trish is now, but I do hope that she is another guardian angel, watching over me and the rest of her family.
I went for a swim early the morning after Trish's passing.  With every stroke I was thinking, it isn't fair that I am still alive, breathing, and able to exercise.  I want to appreciate life, and how lucky I am to still be alive, even if I hate getting up at 6:00 am to swim boring laps, to squeeze my exercise in, so that I don't have to take insulin shots for my gestational diabetes.
It could be worse.  I could have cancer.  I could be dead.  I will try to always remember Trish and the way she lived her life.  I want to live life to the fullest, and be an amazing mom.  I want people to say wonderful things about me and my life after I'm gone.  I hope that Trish is free of pain and suffering now.  The world is a little less wonderful with her gone.
I miss her, and love, love, love her.  I hate cancer.

Here are some old photos of the time that Trish took me wakeboarding for my first (and only) time.  I was so proud that I was able to stand up, and she was doing flips over the waves :)

Ahh!!

A few old photos I found of me with my amazing Aunt:

blondes

a blonde and brunette!

I love you so much, Aunt Trish.  I will never forget you.  Thank you for being such an awesome aunt.  Thank you for always inviting me and the kids to get out and have fun with you and the boys.  You are such a positive example.  I thank God for letting me get to be your niece.  I love, love, love you.